(via kme-oasis)
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I blinked but I like it still. Waiting for everyone to finish getting ready so we can head to my cousins graduation.
My head is still pounding from grief group this evening. A new women joined us who seems to be closer to my age. I wound up taking up a lot of the groups time speaking. I didn’t plan on it. I have not been for two weeks and felt that all I had to contribute was that things had been so hectic that I had not really had time to greave. Instead this flood gate opened up. I did not realize how sad, angry, and exhausted I have been until I started speaking. This will be the first mothers day…
It’s strange I avoided coming back to my apartment until I felt I could pass for alright so that my brother would not feel like he had to ‘be on’. The thing is as soon as I knew he was on his way down stairs to help with laundry I slipped back into the public persona.
I miss my mother. I miss her when she was well. I feel untethered in the worse possible way.
Ugh I need to get back to house work anyway. 1200ish sq ft is no joke to be maintaining by yourself.
The one that is the most disheartening is that Blue Cross no longer covers the name brand of my Rx. Instead of paying $8.50 per month it will now cost me $204.
..for the first time with out subtitles and it is turning out nicely for at least one reason: I’m catching nuances from the actors I didn’t notice before with out the distraction of little yellow words. In the university scenes I can actually follow a little of the conversation with relaying on memory. Yay for beginner vocab! I have to watch a film for class and I like the pacing of this for being able to really catch what they are saying.
Today is my Friday and I could not be anymore relived. I feel so emotionally and mentally drained from this week.
